As Scouting For Girls recently said so elequently; 'This ain't a love song... this is Goodbye'... I sure recognise the line about 'false accusations'.. The lack of empathy or respect for even common decency right at the point of leaving simply cannot be recognised for what it truely is - a false accusation. In my case it was - with the door ajar I hasten to add - "you can't even look at me". As if to say - "its because I think that you are unable to look at me that I am leaving you".
The false accusation fully translated would read - "Its because I have decided I want to be with someone I first slept with when I was 16 or 17 or thereabouts when I was at school, that I am now leaving you and our 17 year marriage". No, sorry, no I'm hear for you as a friend, no, I need to see you for Jess - our daughter on a regular basis. ... just ... I'm going and its all your fault. "I'm unhappy" can mean lots of things cant it. e.g. I'm unhappy with myself, I'm unhappy I never had more children, I'm unhappy because I think I'm gaining weight, I'm unhappy with the change in life coming my way far too early, I'm unhappy I now take pills to make me feel better, I'm unhappy with you, I'm unhappy with me... I only wanted to be happy... I only wanted you to be happy... Happy,Happy,Happy,Happy Talk......
So, be prepared for the false accusation and try to see it for what it is - an attempt to deflect guilt and blame and shame by having a very firm dig at you. She knows how to press your buttons of course she does and she knows that because you still love her you will believe her thus completing her own deflection of emotional pain.
Fortunately I had the presence of mind to ask her to come back in and sit down for two minutes where I was able to calmly say to her; "You are going because you don't want to be here. Its got NOTHING TO DO WITH ME ..... As the band say "I may be down but I'm coming back fighting...." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDypaTdbdPw
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